wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
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Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
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Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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