The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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