id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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