you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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