I feel great
I just peed on a car
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize