If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize