my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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