everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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