man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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