Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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