i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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