i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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