I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize