Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
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The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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