I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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