So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize