If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize