he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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