STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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