her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize