I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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