I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize