Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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(940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug

Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (1649) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.

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(419): so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer. http://tfl.nu/r6k4

Replies (17) Good night (551) Bad night (6931) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

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(704): He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle. http://tfl.nu/j8z9

Replies (32) Good night (5704) Bad night (3477)
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(914): View more from New York

she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"

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(914): she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it" http://tfl.nu/fy2z

Replies (41) Good night (13610) Bad night (1336) Order T-Shirt
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(662): View more from Mississippi

He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

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(662): He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people? http://tfl.nu/km81

Replies (9) Good night (922) Bad night (3147) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp

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(443): and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp http://tfl.nu/f0ut

Replies (32) Good night (1808) Bad night (4302) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly

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(617): the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly http://tfl.nu/7zul

Replies (3) Good night (1822) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.

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(443): Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now. http://tfl.nu/3e9p

Replies (6) Good night (2016) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.

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(516): Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back. http://tfl.nu/h2g1

Replies (26) Good night (8959) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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(818): View more from California

I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire

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(818): I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire http://tfl.nu/rfl8

Replies (6) Good night (5648) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.

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(865): Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night. http://tfl.nu/cs1a

Replies (22) Good night (518) Bad night (2758) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?

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(206): Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now. (1-206): Auto correct or actual 3rd graders? http://tfl.nu/qie2

Replies (7) Good night (1630) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

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(678): Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/sa9o

Replies (10) Good night (1990) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?

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(415): theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours? http://tfl.nu/bjo4

Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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(601): View more from Mississippi

He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.

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(601): He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time. http://tfl.nu/0o2i

Replies (4) Good night (304) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt

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