She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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