# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
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I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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