it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I miss vodka workout Fridays
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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