So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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