I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize