Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
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That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
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He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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