this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
They just canceled the season. Itβs going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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