Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize