I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize