you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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