I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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