I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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