i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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