I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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