Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize