I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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