As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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