eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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