This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize