All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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