Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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