No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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