she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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