you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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