The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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