is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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