i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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